Click here to listen to this week's podcast. Episode 35: Depleted? Listener Q&A and Getting Kids on Board with Boundaries. (An episode to encourage moms to take time to be healthy physically, mentally, and spiritually. AND we have listener Q&A with a focus on the four keys to building boundaries and standards for our kids in ways that helps them understand these boundaries and how they can improve in their behavior to increase their freedoms!)
Depleted mamas are all around us. In fact, it's highly possible that you are one of those depleted moms. I get it; I've been one many times. I spent a couple of decades as a mom selflessly giving and caring and doing for my family, all the while neglecting myself. I didn't always know that I was neglecting myself, but I do think I knew I was depleted. Then about ten years ago, my health started to unravel. All those years of lack of sleep, high amounts of stress, and poor eating habits caught up with me. I'll spare you the symptoms, but the three main ailments that were the result of my physical neglect was Hypothyroidism, Adrenal Fatigue, and very unbalanced hormones (including severe fibroid cysts).
Here's the bottom line, mom, it is not loving to your family to neglect yourself. It's selfless, yes, but it isn't helpful. A neglected mama is not able to give as well as she could if she was well-rested, well-fed, and managing stress. She's not able to think as clearly, behave as joyfully, look on things with creative problem-solving, nor accomplish as completely when she is depleted.
Physical neglect of ourselves is not good for our families.
Moms naturally put our children's needs ahead of our own - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I took care of my family selflessly, which is the right thing to do to love someone so much that we'll do anything for them. That's awesome. That's a hero. That's a mom. But, it is not loving them to neglect us. Then my body stopped allowing me to run on empty with no ramifications. My body had had enough. Too often, moms operate from a depleted place and depleted usually leads to defeated. Mom, it is not loving to your family to neglect yourself.
I had run my body too hard with too little rest, too little proper fuel, several pregnancies followed by nursing each baby while not taking care of myself physically, and having a personality that is your classic Type A - "high strung and get-er-done." I was trying to give from an empty well house. If you are running on empty, but keep right on running, trust me, mama, your body will make you stop running at some point.
I've been on a journey back to health. For the past four years, I've been making great positive headway!
Changing the way I feed my body,
the way I manage stress,
the amount of busyness I fit into my schedule,
and the way I rest.
One of the greatest sources of information and inspiration in this journey back to health has been Trim Healthy Mama. It's been the biggest key to helping me change my health habits. With much thanks to Trim Healthy Mama's cookbooks, healthy products, and podcast inspiration, I've got my adrenal fatigue almost completely eradicated and have even had amazing progress in bringing my thyroid back to a normal functioning range (with the added support of a natural thyroid medication). I have seen large fibroid cysts dissipate during this time of healthy lifestyle growth as I focused on balancing hormones, reducing inflammation, and giving my body more healing foods. I look forward to sharing (in future podcasts & blog posts) with you more of the details of lifestyle changes that I've made. I don't know if these same things will help you or not. I am not a medical professional and am not giving any health advice, but I can share with you what has helped me! Here's an affiliate link to the THM store, if you'd like to try their low carb, gluten free flour called Baking Blend, their protein powder, their healthy chocolate, or to take a look at their cookbooks. I would most recommend the Trim Healthy Table cookbook as it also gives a detailed overview of their health philosophies.
This topic of health is a very vulnerable one to me. While I've seen great improvement in all of those areas, I have not been able to get my weight to a healthy place and talking about that doesn't come easy to me. But I've really felt that God has wanted me to begin sharing all of this with all of you.
I've also recently begun going to a functional nutrition clinic for testing and medical instruction that is fine-tuned specifically to each individual in hopes that I can discover the invisible road block to my weight loss. I will be documenting this journey and on this week's podcast, I share about what's finally begun working for me regarding weight loss! Click here to listen to the podcast episode. Through this episode and future sharing too, I hope to motivate moms to know that it is not selfish to take care of you! Being healthy does take time and you are not being selfish when you spend time on your health. It's another way to love your family.
In this podcast episode I share a few of the changes that I've been making. One of the things I talked about is incorporating healthy fats into my diet.
Here’s a partial list of healthy fats that I’ve learned about for my healing, brain health, to get my metabolism up, and for sustained energy:
Grass-fed clarified butter (ghee) - Costco has a great price
Raw, grass-fed milk & cheese (in week three of my functional nutrition plan they have actually had me stop dairy also but only temporarily)
Avocado -frozen from Costco is an excellent buy & Costco also sells a bottle of avocado oil for only $10
Raw nuts
Raw cacao
Grass-fed beef, Pastured pork, Pastured chicken, Pastured eggs
Olives
Extra Virgin Olive Oil (Don't use this to cook at high heats. Avocado & Coconut oils are better at high heat)
Coconut Oil & Coconut
Wild caught fish
Flax and Chia (I mix these two together and keep them in a cute canister on my counter to add to smoothies, salads, and as a topper on just about anything)
Your Emotional Health Matters, Too Now there's other things that we also don't want to neglect in ourselves. We don't want to neglect ourselves emotionally. Be honest with yourself and admit when you are not at a good place emotionally. Identify what's causing it and what would help and then do what you can about it. Speak up to someone who is in a position to help you or to lead you in the right direction. When we are depleted emotionally, it also affects all of...
our decisions,
our actions,
our outlook,
our words,
our tone.
Taking Time for Spiritual Health While we don't want to neglect ourselves emotionally, we also don't want to neglect ourselves spiritually. I published a series of podcasts to encourage moms to "live a lifestyle of feasting with the father," - being a mom who knows that God is your daily source for everything you need for each day - your strength, your wisdom, your provision, your source of peace in the midst of the storm and, then, learning how to go to Him each day to provide for us, sustain us, carry us, and rescue us! (Isaiah 46:4)
Here are links to some of those episodes:
---Episode 24: How a Busy Mom Gets Quality Time with God Daily
---Episode 29: ScreenTime, Chores, Habits of Blessing - Help our kids GROW, even in a crisis. Plus, Mom, What's Your Harriet Road?
Here's some of the script from episode 27, talking about the importance of mom not neglecting herself spiritually, in the section called, "Mom, are you out of order?"
"What do kids need most from their mom? They need a mom who is Living a Lifestyle Feasting with the Father in the midst of our worries, fears, celebrations, prayers, decisions...In Matt 22:37, Jesus sums up the law of God's heart, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Then secondly, love your neighbor as yourself." As moms we have a tendency to get those two out of order by thinking that pushing our kids to God’s banquet table is more important than us personally loving Him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. We need to love God first, then draw the hearts of our children toward Him, instead of pushing them from behind. Pushing them is ineffective. I want God’s kingdom to come in my family’s life, and I need to do that God's way, not mine." – being kingdom minded, “how can I help His Kingdom to happen in our family? How can I encourage an atmosphere of heaven on earth, a safe haven for my family, a place of peace and love and joy for my home, and how can I be living out the fulfillment of who God created me to be as a mom? It is by keeping these two commandments in order – loving him first and drawing the hearts of my children to him second."
Note: The second half of this week's podcast was a listener Q&A session where we focused on the four keys to building boundaries and standards for our kids in ways that helps them understand these boundaries and how they can improve in their behavior to increase their freedoms! Listen here: to this week's podcast, "Depleted? Plus Q&A and Getting Kids on Board with Boundaries, Episode 35.
Resources mentioned on this week's podcast
Val's Berkey Water Filters Affiliate link: Berkey Filters a much less expensive way to have highly filtered water (we've used Berkey water filters for four years and it has saved us a great deal of money and effort rather than lugging jugs to and from the grocery store, like we were doing before we got Berkey)
Val's Family Internet Commitment: https://www.practicallyspeakingmom.com/product-page/family-internet-usage-agreement
CONNECT with Val: www.PracticallySpeakingMOM.com Public announcements & Resources Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/PracticallySpeakingMom/ Private Facebook group: Intentional Mom, Strong Family