Imperfect & Intentional: Four Benefits of Being an Imperfect Parent, Episode 65
My dear mom friend, you do not need to be perfect to be an intentional mom.
In fact, imperfect goes very well with intentional and in today's podcast & blog we're looking at the four life-changing benefits of being a flawed mom!
On this episode I'm also sharing my Intentional Christmas ideas, including our family's Christmas Blessing Project!
"When you are intentional, you’re a mom who is learning from your mistakes and seeking growth. Mom, Your Imperfections go perfectly with being intentional!"
I do this podcast & blog because God has put an unquenchable fire in me to encourage and equip moms who have a desire to be intentional. And I think today will be VERY encouraging to you. You might even become excited about your flaws and failings!
Mama, I know how you feel.
Most days I am completely aware of
my imperfect appearance
my imperfect character
my imperfect ability to get everything done...
I'll be honest with you, in appearance I am not even average.
In character, I'm naturally stubborn, arrogant, impatient, fickle, and selfish.
In abilities, I've got some good qualities but I also excel in accidentally destroying much of the technology I touch, my ability to get lost when driving is remarkable, and I have zero natural fun-factor (which is a sad fact for my dear kiddos).
I'm not seeking your sympathy about these shortcomings of mine because, well, you're not perfect either (wink, wink) AND, because I have figured out that my flaws have been essential in my intentional life growth.
I’m just a sister sojourner on the path to strengthening my family because it is worth it and encouraging you to stay the course, even when you feel like you're failing. Perfection is not required for this journey. In fact, I'd like to suggest that it isn't even a goal we should want because there are valuable benefits in your imperfections. They're a gift, really!
My imperfections come with lots of benefits
1. My imperfections keep me humble.
Humility is really the awareness that I am not God - I don't know everything nor can I provide everything. I.am.limited. In other words, I'm human. Recognizing this is foundational to valuing those around me, giving compassion to others, and empathizing with them when they falter. If I was perfect, I would never seek advice, pray for wisdom, or appreciate the forgiveness of those who've been affected by my imperfection. All of these are the wonderful ripple affects of humility gained by being an imperfect person.
2. My imperfections keep me relying on God and on others.
There is RELATIONSHIP IN RELYING ON ONE ANOTHER
It is good for us to need one another.
How bonded do you feel with someone who doesn’t show any signs of needing you? Not very bonded, right?
In contrast, we feel drawn to someone who needs us. Not in a needy way, but just in a, “I recognize my need that I could use your help with, and I recognize your need that I can help you with, and, not only that, but I also like you enough to be connected with you in this way" way.
I used to not be very good at making friends. I liked to appear completely capable and self-sufficient. I never wanted to mention my struggles, needs, weaknesses, or failures. Being self-sufficient was isolating and lonely. And I wasn't just like that around other moms, but also with my own family and with my husband, too. I eventually realized that relying on others and allowing them to rely on me brought me deep and meaningful relationships. There is relationship in the relying.
3. My imperfection keeps me approachable.
When our flaws show, others feel more comfortable around us.
Have you ever gone to someone’s house that is perfect? It can be intimidating to be with the perfect mom who keeps the perfect house, raising the perfect kids.
(Hint: Perfect doesn't actually exist, her flaws are just hidden from you, but she is probably only seeing her own flaws while she's noticing how put together YOU are).
Being imperfect is being human and we are much more comfortable with fellow humans than a supermom. So.... I sure hope you won't give too much of your energy in concealing the fact that you're not perfect. Your flaws may be a bit soothing to the sojourner mamas around you, like me, for instance. Let's just be two imperfect mamas who are pursuing growth TOGETHER!
(Hint: Bonding often happens over our imperfections, which is fine AS LONG AS WE BOND WITH PEOPLE WHO SPUR US TOWARD GROWTH & INTENTIONALITY).
4. My imperfections spur me on to growth. If I view my flaws as OPPORTUNITIES FOR GROWTH then I'm being INTENTIONAL!
The most important reason of all that imperfections are in their own way a positive, is that God says that when we are weak He is strong – it allows him to SHINE in our lives. Those little imperfections, really are the sparkle in our life! He sparkles through us when we GROW. Overcoming obstacles and transforming character is a great reflection of God's mighty power in our lives!
My son Andrew, when He was young, had a terrible temper. He was very active and loved sports and I just think he had a lot of testosterone that when someone did something that made him mad, he would always handle it in aggressive ways.
Then he began maturing in his relationship with God, allowing the Holy Spirit to change him and reshape him and now he is the most long-suffering, compassionate, forgiving person you could ever meet. He still loves being active and physical, but the way he treats others is gentle and considerate. His transformation is a testament to God’s ability to redeem and transform.
Another example, of imperfect resulting in God's glory is me. I have all kinds of flaws, especially in parenting. If I didn’t make lots of parenting mistakes, I would have nothing to share with all of you.
I only have passion about parenting solutions because I made all the mistakes enough times to trial and error lots of different solutions to find out what works and what doesn’t work, and to search scripture to identify GOD”S ANSWERS for Mistaking Parents.
If I hadn’t lived through my mistakes and shortcomings, I wouldn’t have any help to offer you AND I wouldn't have inspiration for my children either. Because I have fumbled and fallen many times in life, I am able to tell them with gusto, from the heart, “Keep going, God will be faithful even when we’re a mess. Hold on, look to Him, He is full of compassion and abounding in love. Do not be discouraged for the Lord is on your side."
I continue to work on my flaws because I know there is GROWTH and LESSONS in the struggle of overcoming and transforming.
So, my friend, I’m flawed and growing and letting God shine through my weaknesses. And that's why I can say, from experience, that being a flawed mom intent on growth is really a great combination for strengthening my family! And, Imperfect & Intentional can be a great combo for YOU to strengthen your family, too!
Now, Intentional Mama, go encourage your kids in their imperfections! And YOU be encouraged about their imperfections, also, while you spur them toward intentional growth.
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-11
"This podcast is filled with positive encouragement and practical ideas for intentional growth for your family!"