Being a mom is full-strength living. It’s the everything-all-at-once life.
I mean, being a mom is full throttle going and being and doing and serving and knowing and caring and disciplining and creating and correcting and providing and protecting.
Mothering is emotion-management, time-management, education-management, and resource-management. This is why mom-ing is both wonderful and weary-ing at the same time.
I know this first hand because for the past 25 years I’ve been mothering at full throttle. But there’s a difference between being WEARY and being BURNED OUT.
While I’m so thankful for the many blessings that we gain from these years of serving our little tribe (especially the privilege of experiencing the front row view of the growth and experiences of these small people turning into grown-up amazingness), I’ve seen a concerning trend. I have been noticing just how much burnout moms of today are experiencing, and I have a theory.
There are several contributing factors (unhealthy lifestyle issues, the crippling effects of broken or dysfunctional relationships, and the financial burdens of raising kids), but I think a major cause of MOM BURNOUT is the problem of society pressure (especially as it has grown with the onslaught of social media). It so easily clouds our vision and makes us feel like failures.
Our society shows us images of a beautifully perfect house, with a beautifully perfect mom raising beautifully perfect kids. That’s not attainable but it is what we perceive that everyone else is achieving. Our constant inner-voice desperately nagging us to improve our results gives way to anxiety, stress-filled effort, and ultimately the hopelessness of never reaching perfection.
Moms, it’s time to resign at being CEO of “perfect family.” That job reeks of disappointment and failure. There’s a better way, a better way to do family-life. That way is living as “God’s masterpiece family.”
You see, there’s something you should know about God’s ways: Our Heavenly Father calls us to leave the results up to HIM. Sweet relief! Weary mama, the results are NOT your responsibility. God calls us to keep our eyes on Him, to tune our eyes, ears, hearts, and minds in His direction. That’s our job – to keep our attention on Him and to show our children how to do this as well.
I don’t know what your goals are as a mom, but my goal is pretty much singular: I want my kids to live out, on a daily basis, God’s will for their specific, uniquely-designed-by-God life. That’s it. Nothing more and nothing less.
Ephesians 1:4 “Even before He made the world, He loved us and chose us…
Moms, quit looking at the world’s play book. It.Doesn’t.Work. Get your eyes on the One who created your family, the One who wants to fashion your family into a masterpiece that reflects His glory. Take a look at 1 Peter 2:9. It says, “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.” You see, the Bible says that God chose us before the creation of the world (Ephesians 1:4) to reflect Him. The question is, do we choose Him? His ways are different from our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9) but they are better than our meager ideas and limited efforts.
Isaiah 55:8-9 " 'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways, my ways' declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.' "Stop trying to create the perfect family (or present the appearance of the perfect family) and just start surrendering to Him and His ways and presenting to the world your imperfect-but-following-our-creator family.
You’ll still have weary days and you’ll still be the manager of all of those endless tasks, but the performance pressure will be replaced by the comfort of reliance on our Heavenly Father as the one in charge of the results.
God’s plan for parents is better than ours. He made us and our family. His game plan is a far better life manual than anything we can come up with. And He is trustworthy in fashioning His masterpiece family.
Traveling this intentional parenting journey right along with you,
Val