Updated: Jul 7, 2020
In part 1 of this mini-series on the Practically Speaking MOM: Intentional Mom, Strong Family Podcast, you'll learn how to identify signs of stress and deal with the Grizzly Bears in the room!
We're facing stress head on with our guest, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Amanda Colliatie!
Join Amanda and I, Val Harrison, the Practically Speaking MOM, for Laughter, Truth, and Strategies!
2020 has provided plenty of stress for ALL of us.
💟Here's part one of three weeks of heart-healthy goodness to learn some STRESS buffering techniques and motivation to teach these habits to your children of all ages.
Now let's take a look at Amanda's notes for us for part 1 of our discussion...
How to Deal with Stress – In Mom and Child
Guest author, Amanda Colliatie
Everyone will experience stress. It’s a very normal and healthy part of being human. However, it is important to know the different types and levels of stress, as well as helpful warning signs and ways to buffer the effects of stress.
(Source: A Mind Frozen in Time: A PTSD Recovery Guide by Dr. Jeremy P. Crosby)
There Are Two Types of Stress
1. Physical Stress
2. Psychological Stress
The Three Levels of Stress
1. “Normal” stress from minor changes Daily hassles; small, unexpected events; minor disagreements; delays.
2. Moderate stress from major changes Any positive or negative change that affects your life in a big way (a promotion, marriage/divorce, welcoming a baby, moving, the death of a loved one, a medical diagnosis, etc.)
3. Toxic stress from stress overload Chronic, ongoing stress; circumstances feel unmanageable; feel overwhelmed; unsure how to cope; unsure of what to do; feel helpless; thinking about giving up. Toxic stress isn’t so much about the cause of the stress, but about the chronic and ongoing nature of the stress. The fallout from physical or emotional abuse and neglect is obvious, but then there are the more indirect hits, such as the impact of the worldwide corona virus pandemic, chronic conflict in the home, a parent battling addiction, parental depression, or serious illness. The stress from these doesn’t have to turn toxic but it can. A prime condition for this happening is when there is no loving, supportive, attentive relationship to buffer the impact.
For children, a little stress goes a long way.
It is through stressful times that kids learn resilience, determination, optimism and how to soothe themselves when things start to get tough.
When stress is managed in the context of loving, stable and caring relationships, where children feel safe and secure, they can get through stressful, traumatic times without scarring.
(Source: Dr. Nadine Burke Harris’ book The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity)
To better understand the impact extreme stress has on your body, imagine you're walking in the forest and you see a bear:
*Immediately, your brain's amygdala sounds the alarm.
*Your adrenal glands start pumping out stress hormones. *Your heart begins to pound.
*Your pupils dilate.
*Your airways open up and you are ready to either fight that bear or run from the bear. Fight or flight.
*Your brain tells your immune system to send inflammation
Now imagine if every night that bear came home with you. This is toxic stress.
Normally, you brain will shut off this fight or flight mode soon after the danger passes, but if the brain goes through too much stress, this shut-off mechanism starts to short-circuit, which constantly sends the brain into fight or flight mode. When your brain is constantly exposed to a toxic environment, it will continue working only to protect itself from that environment. It’s rate of growth slows down, creating a vulnerability to anxiety, depression and less resilience to stress.
(Source: SAMHSA Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's National Child Traumatic Stress Initiative (NCSTI), https://www.samhsa.gov/childtrauma/understanding-child-trauma)