Sibling Squabbles & Family Standards for Fighting Fair, Birthday Bonding, Listener Q&A, Changing Negative Self-Perceptions, and the Hard Work of Mending Relationships are all a part of Episode 53 of the Practically Speaking MOM: Intentional Mom, Strong Family Podcast.
How would you like to sit-in on a lighthearted chat with Val and her two youngest children? That's what you'll do in the first part of episode 53. Then Val continues with Listener Q&A.
FEATURED RESOURCE Sign up for Val's Monday Email (containing podcast & show notes) by the end of September 2020 as all subscribers will receive a FREE Family Communication Evaluation Form emailed to you at the beginning of October 2020. Sign up at the bottom of this blog post or at www.PracticallySpeakingMOM.com
In Episode 53, learn...
*How we handle Sibling Conflict and Standards in Fighting Fair
*A Birthday Tradition that promotes sibling bonding while also improving self-perception and even improves communication skills and character
*Listener Q&A
Episode 53 Listener Q&A includes...
*What to do when our kids don't want to hear us say positive things about them. Often the root problem is Negative Self-Perceptions. What can we as parents do to help?
*How should we handle it when we are personally inconsistent in enforcing boundaries, or enforcing chores and other behavior in our kids because we as mom are struggling with those character qualities personally?
*Mending Relationship with our kids, especially older kids.... where do we begin?
Believe it or not, arguments DO happen at the Harrison household and, thus, we've developed some family standards for fighting fair - how we treat one another when we disagree.
Abby and Emma (my two youngest children) help me tell listeners how sibling squabbles happen in our home and we hope that this will give you some ideas and new perspectives for developing some sibling spatting standards at your home too!
QUOTES from Episode 53
"By treasuring the relationship enough to REPAIR after a disagreement, we are showing how much we value that relationship." "Whether it is positive habits or negative habits, whatever habits of communication our oldest children are displaying, those behaviors will trickle down to the younger children as well."
" If we argue and defeat one another, we're not fulfilling what God designed for our family . We need to see the ISSUE as a problem that we are working TOGETHER to solve and stop trying to solve the other person, defeat the other person, or perfect the other person... Galations 5:15-24 says that if we keep biting and devouring one another, we will be destroyed by each other. My Family Communication Evaluation Form is based on that Bible passage which refers to learning to live by the Spirit of God versus living by our own selfish desires. My fellow intentional parent, you must stay on the alert against the enemy of your family who wants to make you believe you are enemies of one another. Teach your kids to identify his schemes. When you sense the enemy's efforts taking root in a family situation where you notice that a conflict is arising that is bringing direct hits against one another verbally, or an attitude of stubbornly demanding one's own way without regard for the rest of the family, it's time to speak up! Call it what is is! At our house, that would sound something like..." Listen to EPISODE 53 to hear our family arguing boundaries, what I say when I sense the enemy is seeking to divide us, and begin praying about your own family game plan! Some of this was also from pages 16-17 of Clash in Your Home: Getting a Game Plan for Cleaning Up the Conflict.
Here's some extra info that is not on the podcast this week but gives some context to the Listener Q&A that is on episode 53:
Steps for Repairing Relationship with Grown Children
*Pray about creating a time to listen to your grown child - listen to their resentments, frustrations, hangups about their childhood or ways they felt like we created wounds in their heart or fell short in our role as parents. Pray that this will be an effective time spent together, that your child will come prepared and that you'll come prepared, that both hearts will soften, that barriers will begin coming down, and that wounds would begin to mend. *Set a time when you will allow them to tell anything they would like about the cause of the strained relationship or any reasons they may be feeling resentment *Be quiet: Truly listen to your child, understand what they are feeling - even if you don't agree. They want to be heard.
*Pray afterward about what your child said, how to respond, how to apologize, when and if to give context or perspective, how to make restitution or how to begin repairing the wounded spot in relationship *Go slow; allow healing to happen at their pace and accept that this is a time-consuming commitment. *Keep praying and repairing. Often, relationship-healing comes in layers, like peeling off an onion. True relationship healing is a long-term commitment to growth, not a single act of repairing. The deeper the wound or the bigger the chasm between you, the more layers to peel away and the longer repairing will take.
FEATURED RESOURCE Sign up for Val's Monday Email (containing podcast & show notes) by the end of September 2020 as all subscribers will receive a FREE Family Communication Evaluation Form emailed to you at the beginning of October 2020. Sign up at the bottom of this blog post or at www.PracticallySpeakingMOM.com
Additional Resources
*Galations 5:15-24 *Val's most popular podcast episode: Episode 6 "Parenting Middles & Teens, Overcoming Negative Self-Talk, & What Teens aren't Telling You."
